Thoughts on the New Year

What’s My New Year’s Resolution?

 

I don’t make resolutions!  I hate them!  They are an acceptable way for people to feel unsuccessful and inadequate.  And the worst part is the way they are set up!  No wonder so many people don’t keep them.

 

Dictionary.com defines Resolution as

a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.

 

the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.

 

This may have started out with good intentions, a time to make changes and improvements in our lives, but in today’s day and age they aren’t very practical.  Life is so busy for most of us, and we are all trying the best we can, but it can get overwhelming to do our daily tasks, always keeping in mind our resolutions.

 

Given that one of the most commonly asked questions this time of year is how to keep a New Year’s Resolution, I thought I would share some tips to make the first of the year a time of success for those of us living with ADHD.  Here is my list of 6 things that will help you make this year a success:

 

1.       Don’t make another resolution!  Goals, yes.  Resolutions, no.  It is easier to accept striving for a goal and falling short than it is to break yet another New Year’s Resolution.  One of the biggest challenges for people living with ADHD is the constant feeling of failure, so it is extremely important not to add to that.  Goals are something we can reach for on a daily basis, and know that even if we don’t reach them, at least we will have come closer than if we didn’t try at all.

2.       Make your goals measurable.  As an example I will tell you one of my goals for the new year.  I will not drink more than one Pepsi a day.  Now, that seems concrete and rigid, but I go on to say I will allow myself two Pepsis in a day twice a week.  That may sound confusing, but I know my psychology, and I know that if I make too rigid a goal, I will “rebel” against it and not reach it.  I am setting goals to be able to achieve them, so I have to work with the way my own brain works.

3.       Share your goals with someone.  I think I just did that.

4.       Work with your own psychology.  If you are a contrarian by nature, meaning you tend to hear something and do the opposite (many people with ADHD have this fun trait) then know that and work with it.  If rigid rules make you nervous and want to rebel, make your goals a little flexible.  If it’s hard for you to remember your goals, choose some that you can measure every day, therefore making it a habit rather than an exercise in memory.

5.       Make your goals small enough so you will see successes.  For me, not having that second or third Pepsi won’t do much for me.  But the cumulative effects of cutting my Pepsi intake by 50% or more will, hopefully, be to lose weight, feel better, have more energy, etc.  So take your larger goal and break it down into measureable goals you can achieve on a regular basis.

6.       Have fun with your goals!  Choose goals you will enjoy meeting and telling people when you met them.  Pick things that you want, or will help you to get something you want.  If your goals are miserable for you to keep, you won’t.  So find a way to make them fun.  And if the goal itself can’t be made interesting, try playing around with a reward and see if you can make it interesting that way.

 

So, make this year the year that you keep all your “resolutions” and the best way to do that is to not make any!  Give yourself some goals and shoot for those instead!

 

Good luck!

 

P.S.  Why don’t you take a minute and share your goals with me?  Grab a coffee, pull up a chair and share your top 2 or 3 goals here.  Together we will get further than ever before.  And hey, if you tell me your goals, and you miss one, you won’t have to look at me when you tell me that.  There’s no judgement here, so it might be a nice way to try out step 3 from the above list without risk.